Letters to Liv: Becoming a Mother

Newborn photo shoot- 3 wks

My Dearest Liv,

This heart of mine has stretched and swelled so much since becoming your mother that I'm certain it will never regain its original size. It's made way for more love than I knew I could feel. In the first weeks of your life, I could hardly control my feelings for you. I would stare at those perfect little feet and trace the outline of your face with my finger while tears streamed down my cheeks. It was all I could do to hold myself together. I constantly whispered those three little words in your ear, desperate for you to know my unconditional love. 

Two months have gone by since you entered our lives and in that short time I've gotten to know so much about you. You are my social butterfly, always alert and always watching. You maintain eye contact with everyone you meet and track their movement around you. High-pitched female voices are your jam. The squeakier the better. You relax best amidst the consistent chatter of a crowd so public places are our sanctuary when you are resisting sleep. 

You are so strong, which incidentally, is why we named you Liv. From the time you were growing in my tummy, our midwives began commenting on your strength. Your heartbeat was so loud and regular in fact, that it could often be heard on the doppler before it even touched my skin. Labor was no different. During all those hours of contracting and pushing, your heart rate never dipped or spiked. Again, "strong" was the word used most by our nurses and midwives to describe you. Because of that, we felt you deserved an equally strong yet feminine name to suit your personality, so Liv it was. 

From just a week old you discovered how to climb my belly while I held you to my shoulder. You are rarely content laying in our arms; you must be upright so you can lift your head and scan your surroundings. 

3 wks

You prefer the safety of your mama and papa's arms to any swing, crib or relative who tries to hold you for an extended amount of time. This habit will eventually have to be broken but for now, this new mom is just fine being the one who comforts you most. This does however make for a difficult napping arrangement since you jolt out of sleep the minute I try to put you down. We are currently working on this because as obsessed with you as I am, mama needs a break sometimes! 

Your love of music isn't surprising because, well, you are our daughter. Your papa and I used to crank up the stereo and dance around the living room most nights while I was pregnant with you. We'd tap the beat of songs on my belly for you to hear and sing the lyrics to everything from Luke Bryan to TuPac. (Believe it or not, your parents were somewhat cool at one point.)

You also love: diaper changes, morning time, the vacuum, being outside, and your car seat (I may or may not be guilty of putting you in it for a nap or two since that is all you will tolerate). 

You hate: the hiccups.  

I love: how you nuzzle your face in the crook of my elbow each time you are done eating, the way your little fists gyrate when you stretch, and the cowlick on the front of your head which you will undoubtably loathe as a teenager. 

I hate: hearing you cry. 

My first Mother's Day- 4wks

Spending my days caring for you is the most fulfilling job I've ever known. I feel so privileged to be the one to introduce you to this big world. Each day I get to witness you learning something new and I see the wonder in your eyes as you experience the beauty around you. I'm so proud to be your mom. 

6 wks

6 wks

Just so you know, this is the job I was made for, Liv. I wouldn't trade this time with you for anything in the world. Thank you for adding such depth and richness to our family. 

7wks

To the moon and back, little one. To the moon and back. 

-Mama