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Oct 5, 2012

Team Ray

I peered over the blankets to the clock across the room. 6:15am. Keane was sleeping peacefully beside me. Without stirring him, I quietly slipped out of the sheets and made my way to the bathroom. I set the test out the night before, as if I needed any reminder to take it. I had been counting down the days, hours and minutes until we could find out.

I unwrapped it from its packaging, filled my lungs with air and said a prayer. Your will, not mine. We are ready for this. We want this so bad. We are ready. But Your will, not mine. 

After taking the test, I placed it on the ground next to my feet. I held my breath and watched as one line slowly appeared, then two. Gasping, I rubbed my eyes to be sure what I was witnessing wasn't an illusion. I stared at the faint pink line and the word above it which would change our lives forever. With tears streaming down my face, I whispered, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, God!

Attempting to compose myself, I went to tell Keane that he was going to be a papa. I called his name a few times between sobs and with alarm, he jumped out of bed asking what was wrong.

I'm pregnant.

What?

I'm pregnant!

In that moment, no other words were necessary. His face lit up and he wrapped me in his arms. We stood in silence, squeezing each other and I could feel him smiling.

We had done it.



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