An Issue of Epic Poo-portions

Ummm, this is awkward. 

We have a problem. Well, actually it's our fur baby who has the problem, we're just left dealing with its  aftermath. 

About once a week, while we are doing our parental duty (no pun intended- you'll see in a minute) of exercising our dogs, our Cashboy finds the freshest pile of doodie (see? there it is) he can and promptly drops a shoulder into it. He then proceeds to roll around, proudly sporting an ear to ear grin as if he has just accomplished a remarkable feat.

And right when you think the horror is over, he gets up, only to smell the pile once more, and again body slams himself down to compact the poo even further into his neck, shoulder and ribs. 

Now, this is a problem for two reasons. 

One: nobody wants to be the parent of the "stinky kid." 

Trust me when I say it's super awkward to have to shout warnings to a fellow hiker or dog park patron about petting your very friendly dog because he has poop smeared all over his white fur. 

It's a shaming look they give and not one to be easily forgotten.  

And two: cleanup is a thankless job. 

It usually involves rubber gloves and a lot of curse words. If I could only count the number of texts the mister and I have sent to each other to inform of yet another poo related casualty. I'll admit that sometimes I choose to take scissors to the affected areas rather than go through the hassle of yet another bath. 

We are dealing with a very serious issue here. 

We try to scold him, banish him, run at him wildly with hands waving in the air to scare him. 

None of it works and we end up looking like crazy people. 

The boy loves poop and I'm at a total loss. 

There will undoubtably be more fece fiascos until we come up with a solution.

Cesar Milan? Take pity on us? Please?