This one's for the girls

About 90% of the time, I love being a girl.
The pretty clothes, indulgent beauty routines, strangers who open doors for you in public or let you order before them at Starbucks for no reason... What's not to love?!

I'll tell you what's not to love– the other 10% of the time.

There are a few things in life that make being a lady less than awesome for me. The times when I'm embarrassed of the name some women give to the rest of us. The times when being a guy would be so much easier.

As I was perusing Pinterest the other day, I came across this picture of Pippa Middleton, who, besides being related to the Duchess of Cambridge, has done nothing to merit her recent fame and notoriety.
She's just a girl.
Even so, the woman responsible for pinning this picture of Middleton thought it important to note the price of her articles of clothing and the fact that they ought to be "besties" because she adore's Pippa's apparent addiction to coffee. 

::face in palm::

While I'm sure Pippa Middleton is a lovely girl, reading this made me cringe. This woman is professing her love for another person without the slightest clue about who she really is. The label on her trench coat or the price tag on her scarf does not make her a nice person and hardly someone worthy of being "adored." 

It's overtly shallow and superficial, and not a good look for anybody. 

Aaaand then there's the ladies on The Bachelor. 

Oh dear, this show makes me so embarrassed to be a woman.  

One of the girls spent two whole episodes sloppy drunk and crying, and then was surprised when she wasn't given a rose!

Girlfriend was a hot mess. 

Stereotypes that women are clingy, dramatic and overly emotional exist because of girls like this.
It was a mere TWO episodes which probably equated to 30 minutes of one-on-one time for her and the guy– hardly enough time to warrant emotion like that if you ask me.
Sister! Pull yourself together, exit with a little class and move on with your life. Sheesh.

Finally, the fact that I am always on the lookout for a potentially dangerous situation as a woman leaves me wanting to trade in my x chromosomes and call it a day.
I can't walk alone at night without scanning the scene for predators. If I have to spend a night without Keane, I plan my escape route in case someone breaks in. During college, when I'd walk home from a late class, I'd have 911 dialed on my phone with my finger on the call button so help wouldn't be far if I needed it.
And most recently, when I'm by myself in the workout room after dark, my mace is always nearby.

I hate the fact that I even have to think about these things.
I remember one conversation Keane and I had after we first moved in together. It came up that I was alone in an elevator with a man the day before and felt very uncomfortable because it was at night and there was no one else around. He was really surprised to hear that something like that would frighten me and admitted that he's never felt unsafe in a situation where he was alone. He told me he was so sorry that I had to experience life like that.

Like I said, being a girl is pretty sweet most of the time.
But on the occasions when it's not, I'd prefer to shave my head, develop selective hearing, and talk to my friends about cars or something.
Things would be a lot easier.