Currently, your mama is...
Feeling- You move!! I felt you kick and squirm for the first time this week! You like to be very active in the early mornings and late evenings and yesterday, I swore you were doing somersaults in there. Your precious little life has become so much more real to us over the last couple of weeks. We saw your tiny body, beating heart and developing brain during our ultrasound, we learned you are a girl, and now we can feel you move! It is truly incredible and we are getting more and more excited to meet you by the day.
Thinking- About how much I love your daddy. The man is my world and I have no doubt he will be yours too. I have never met another human being who exudes as much joy as he does. Every night when he gets home from work, I hear him walking up to the door singing a little tune and I immediately smile. He is so light-hearted and makes me laugh more than any person I know. It scares me to think about ever living without him by my side. I have cried more than once to him in the past month, making him promise that when we leave this earth, we will do it together, peacefully holding hands when we are 90 years old (The Notebook style). I thank God each day for the time I get to spend with him, and I pray every night for his health and safety.
Hoping- I can gracefully accept each day as it comes during the remainder of this pregnancy. It has been quite an adjustment for me to give up all control over my body and let nature do its work. New things happen to me everyday and sometimes it's scary to passively sit back and accept it. My suppressed immune system has led me to get sick four times already (and it's only December!) and there is nothing I can take for relief. My body is changing and I'm realizing it may never go back to its original state. Nutrition has taken on new meaning because I know whatever I put into my body, yours uses as well. It has become clear that this is my first glimpse into what selfless, motherly love looks like. I am no longer living for just myself, but for another.
Reading- Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Birthing From Within. These books are so encouraging and really empower women to trust in the ancient process of childbirth. They are filled with positive stories from women who have successfully and naturally birthed their children. For years I have felt it was my path to give birth outside of a hospital, without any medication and with limited medical intervention. I feel that for the majority of women, birth isn't a medical event- it's what our bodies were designed to do. It may sound crazy, but I am truly excited about experiencing childbirth in a soothing environment, at a pace set by my own body.
Craving- Milk. I was never a milk drinker before becoming pregnant. In fact, I was pretty repulsed by the thought of it, but now I find myself drinking a glass every night before bed. It also helps to coat my stomach when taking all those yucky vitamins! And doughnuts. Because who doesn't love a warm, sweet, doughy treat morning, noon or night? The problem is, the area we live doesn't value these tasty morsels the way I do so I'm hard pressed to ever give in to my craving. I end up settling for plain old glazed from the grocery store on occasion but they never seem to do the trick.
I love you to the moon and back, my little peanut! Keep growing big and strong, and remember, we value sleep pretty highly in our house so if you could to, that would be great. :)