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Feb 22, 2012

Ask and you shall receive

How was I supposed to make this decision?! I was only 17 after all, and it would change everything.

University of Arizona was closer to home, cheaper for my parents, and a more comforting option since several of my high school friends would be attending. But University of San Diego was smaller, private, and on a cliff overlooking the ocean for goodness sake (I mean, have you seeeeen that campus?!) The deadline for enrollment to both schools was that day. I had been putting off making the decision for weeks, hoping someone would eventually just tell me what to do. Nobody did.

Now you should know I'm the type of person who stands for 10 minutes in the oral care isle of the grocery store, trying to decide between Colgate or Crest, whitening or tatar control. Options intimidate me and just muddy my mind, so imagine my angst while deciding where to spend the next four years of my life getting an education and making new friends!

It was a warm spring morning. I walked out the front doors of my high school, got into my blue Ford Explorer and drove. I just needed to get away. I called my mom, then my dad. Both helped me weigh the pros and cons but said they couldn't tell me what to do. I cried. I cried the ugly cry all over Boulder with the windows down and the music up.

I recall the exact intersection in Table Mesa where I stopped at a red light. I rested my forehead against the steering wheel and said a prayer. I asked God to please, PLEASE, just make it clear what I was supposed to do because obviously I couldn't make this decision alone. I was scared, anxious and overwhelmed.

The light turned green and cars began moving. I lifted my head, wiped away my tears, and noticed a small bumper sticker on the car in front of me. It was red and blue and white and it said 'UofA.'

A few months later, I was packing my boxes and moving to Tucson.

***

I learned something important in that moment of desperation and smeared mascara. I learned that we never have to make the scary decisions alone. The answers are always around us.

We just have to ask the question and look for the bumper sticker.


and so it is...


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